Dating a medical student blog
An eye-opening experience for me four years ago was the annual dinner hosted by the Office of Alumni Affairs. Peggy Murphy leads a panel discussion of current medical students in relationships to offer advice and tips.
Because not everyone can be on the panel--but we all have a lot to say about being on either side of a relationship involving medical school-- I sent out an informal survey.
And there’s no way you will be able to go out to eat, on a date, every single Friday night. When my Dr H was in medical school, I had heard all of the horror stories from people.
I had heard how I would never see him during those 4 years.
My son’s room also doubled as our “office”, so when he wasn’t napping or sleeping my husband would study at his desk in there.
I loved it because when he took a study break he could come out and spend a few minutes with his family.
So really, 30 min to eat dinner and talk plus just 30 additional minutes of us-time. We both felt like those were realistic expectations. And he was able to give me that time almost every single day during our 4 years of medical school.
Of course there were times when it didn’t happen, but we tried our best to make sure it did – our time together was a high priority for us. Find a way to share your schedules with each other – whether that’s on a traditional paper calendar or in an online version.
If your husband is a medical student, you know how hard it can be. If it’s possible for you to create a study area in your house, do it!
It may not be as much time as you both want, but you can still have a thriving relationship during medical school. Even if it’s a cheap date to Taco Bell or going on a walk together, having time together to nurture your marriage is so so important.
Don’t stop dating each other just because your spouse is in medical school!
He has to learn the equivalent of an entire semester of a college class in two weeks. And so you, as the wife of a medical student, have a lot to deal with! You are trying to support a stressed-out hubby while also keeping the house under control, sometimes working your own job, and trying to cope with the loneliness of having your husband gone all of the time. It is possible for you to not only survive but THRIVE in medical school! I really did love our four years of medical school. No, of course there were times where I wished we could just be done already! We made some lifelong friends, had our first son, and grew so much in marriage.
It’s even better if it’s in a separate room with a door so he can close out the noise and distractions and really focus.
If he had studied exclusively on campus I would have seen him much less during medical school.